Most of us are like sprinklers. We wake up and begin ‘the give-a-thon marathon’ – kids up, everyone fed, dressed, out the door, dropped off, go to paid employment for a brief reprieve, race out to buy groceries at lunch, pick everyone back up, feed, undress and get them all back into bed. No doubt you get tired & cranky as the batteries run flat, snap at someone & feel guilty then resentful as the dream of a luxurious bath goes down the gurgler, AGAIN. Having depleted all your energy, you fall exhaustedly onto the coach & drown your sorrows in a game on your phone, a glass or three, some ice-cream and some online retail therapy all of which is spoilt by the guilt of knowing you shouldn’t be doing any of those things! On the TV screen, you see one of those weirdos that obviously has no life hence having time on their hands. You know the ones!
They CHOOSE to get up earlier, to go for a run, journal, meditate, play the harmonica, think about redecorating their house as they give themselves a manicure….
We fail to understand that they CHOOSE to turn on their fountain of energy by going for a run, journaling or reading a book. Having taken responsibility for looking after their own wellbeing, they can give more, do it happily& for longer because they prioritised refilling their own fountain of energy over everything & EVERYONE ELSE, including their kids. They might even fall asleep earlier because they got up earlier which sets them up to wake up early and refill. They don’t resent their partner because they believe he/she should take the kids & do the chores so they can do their own thing. They know that meeting their needs is their responsibility! They can do an hour now, but they started with a sneaky 5 minutes a year ago.
Yes, but I have kids!
Still not convinced?
Which parent do you want your kids to have? Tired & grumpy or smiling & patient?
What do you want to model for your kids – an addiction to busyness, phones, sugar & alcohol OR boundaries, self-care, self-love & self-discipline?
Before you go to bed tonight decide: do want to be a sprinkler or a fountain TOMORROW? (Monday never comes when there’s a new habit to create!)
If you CHOOSE the fountain, what would you enjoy indulging in? What did you used to love? No idea? Cool tomorrow brainstorm ideas! What’s the smallest step you could possibly make so you CANNOT excuse your way out of it? Put the stuff you will need at the side of your bed, before you sit on “The Couch of Doom” for the evening tonight and set the alarm. Close your eyes and imagine how good you’ll feel once you get into it.
Get up 5 minutes early
- Open your journal on your bedside table and write OR
- Put on stretchy clothes and sit on a meditation cushion for 1 minute without speaking OR
- Put on your stretchy clothes and do 5 minutes of yoga, Pilates, boxing. OR
- Rubbish bag and box ready – declutter one tiny area for 5 whole minutes OR
- Put on the exercise clothes and shoes, next to your bed. Drink the glass of water, next to your bed and GOOOOO. Walk for 2.5 minutes, then turn around and come home. Done!
- Achieved something for yourself for the day!
- Make your bed! Two things for yourself! You come home to a nicely made bed! (The way your house looks affects the way you feel.)
5 minutes becomes 6, 10, 20… How will you feel about yourself? If you INVESTED this time in yourself, would you be as tired, cranky and unfulfilled as you have been lately? Are you more or less likely to be the partner, parent and colleague/boss you would like to be? What will your family think?
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Julia Williams Counselling 